The last five years have been about spring cleaning for me," says Jen. "Now it’s time for my rebirth. I love trying new things. I can’t just be put in a box.” Jennifer Aniston
While reading the Harpar's Bazaar article about Jennifer Aniston this quote just jumped right out at me. My spring cleaning has been going on for just about year. It started with finally severing the ties with the ex (ah yes finally even my myspace page came down) it continued with my move and a fresh start in a home that is filled with so many precious and happy memories and its finalizing with a feeling of control over my life my finances and my future.
Ironically I read this article after a truly horrible fight with someone who was very close to me. Facebook is ultimately going to be the death of personal friendships and contact. I say this simply because it seems more and more people are using it as their main and in some cases only tool to communicate. A life long friend kept posting stuff from an online game on my page. Finally one of this ridiculous pictures infected my PC with a virus. I am very particular about what goes on my facebook page as I have a lot of my co-workers as friends. They don't need to see gaming stuff, inappropriate pictures or disgusting remarks on my page. So I sent and email to this friend asking her to stop and I explained why. What happened next is completely ridiculous. Not only did she "unfriend" me...but she became combative when I tried to email her about it. It got the to point where we have ended the friendship and we will never speak again.
How did all this go so wrong between us? I am a giver. I give relentlessly, whether you want it or not, and I expect some sort of friendship back. There was a time when I was a big part of this friends life and then there were times when we went our separate ways. Friendships always go through the ringer when people fall in love, get married, get divorced, have kids, or not get married, not have kids and cultivate a career, sometimes your lives change and that’s when you see whom your real friends are. The ones who are superficial fall away, and the ones who are in deep stick around. There are friends I’ve had for decades and sometimes we don’t talk for a couple of years because we’ve been too busy having babies or working or something. We ALWAYS circle back, even if it’s just a hit and run email to let them know we’re thinking of them. Everyone's lives are busy and none of us are out there curing cancer so in my eyes that doesn't make any of us any better than the rest of us. And if your only source of communication with your friendship circle is to post status updates on your FB page then you deserve to be forgotten about. Get the hell off the computer and call a friend and have a freaking conversation.
What hurt the most about the demise of this friendship (and yes at this point its 100% unfixable) is that rather than just say what was bothering her she brought up every issue and every negative thing that has happened between us in the past 30+ years and tried to make it sound like I was a horrible person. For a split second I almost believed her. But then I stopped and started to do some serious thinking. And I realized that I am a good person and a great friend. My friends are like my family, I do everything I can for them and sometimes I really think they don't always realize it. This "friend" proceeded to tell me everything she hated about me, she gave a list of every fault she found with and basically eluded to the fact that its a wonder I have any friends at all.
Of course these comments hurt my feelings. Some of them made me cry and some of them really pissed me off. After a few rounds of nasty emails I basically realized that no matter what I said and what I did it was never going to be good enough for her. Apparently there is only room for one person on her pedestal and the person is her. Well I have heard its lonely at the top so time will tell.
So that said...we are here on Good Friday getting ready to celebrate Easter. Easter is the holiday that celebrates rebirth. And the fact that it happens in the spring, the season of rebirth its appropriate that all this friendship drama has happened now. I am going to take inspriration from the season and I am going to immerse myself in my own rebirth. Lately I have been feeling overwhelmed by all of the relationships in my life...work, family, friends...everything and everyone. And sometimes when you are feeling beaten down you need to take some time. Time for yourself. To think and figure out what is going to make you happy. You are the only one who can truly make yourself happy. No one else can do it for you. And since the start of the new year I have felt anything but happy. So with the good weather coming I plan to take some me time and really think about what I want out of the next year of my life. I am going to set goals, I am going to make plans, I am not going to be afraid to be alone and most importantly I am really going to reevaluate my friendships and make sure that the relationships in my life are heathly and not hurtful.
I truly hope everyone takes my lead and does the same. Sometimes its good to do a little spring cleaning!
0 comments:
Post a Comment